Of life and other things one ponders whilst gazing at the sea.

 Delightful thing it is, to be married.

 
You have ups. You have downs. You have weirdness. You have absolute perfection, at times. 

Sometimes, if you did it right, you have anniversaries. Typically, they're annual. Usually they are in one way or another, in some way able to remind you of your perfect day, and bring a little joy of getting another year older, and another year wiser together. 

It's a thing. It's usually delightful.

Then there's the usual tensions of growing up as a human being. You learn how to navigate this life with another one in your mind at all times, and do things for the benefit of each other. Providing, working, and blessing the Lord one and all. Here's my sweet man, my rock and my all.

Of course you could be married to an addict. Right? The more I traverse the facebook or twitter feeds, the more I see it. Women and men, both struggling with their spouses, and I mean not all of us have traversed this beautiful, yet broken world, without some sort of problems arising from years of habitual sin, exarcerbated by years of living in a state of 0 grace. Moms and dads: baptize your babies. 

But then, at some point, an adult becomes aware of their Heavenly Father. Aware of Jesus's sacrifice on the cross, and the fact that Holy Ghost constantly pours grace on your dumb ass, and keeps you alive and well. So when do you start taking responsibility for your actions?

My guess is:
when you grow your conscience. It is unable to grow properly without God's Word, and God's divine Sacraments. If you don't tend the only thing that matters: how do you expect to fare after you live this physical realm behind?

You know. When you die. Because everyone succeeds at that one. It's absolute 100% success rate. If at any time you are alive, you will die, and then there's either nothing (ala our favorite godless realm's ideas) or there's actual Judgement. And there's a God. 

While it's endearing to think of "him" or "her", the addict, as the problem, frankly it's you. No you didn't put the drug, or alcohol into this person's system. No you didn't really cause them to be sad (unless, you.. did kill their favorite pet in front of them, I mean turn yourself in sicko), especially if you're just living out the marital state of things. And I'm only speaking of functioning addicts. Those that seem to have their crap together, but fail like quarter of the time, or maybe 33% of the time. 
Can you imagine if they were at a 100% who would that be anyways?
But what you did do is play the victim card. Instead of growing a pair, you decidely allowed the tide to take you where it will, and instead of allowing that which you allow happen, you allow everything to happen. That's bad. Don't do that. Do the other thing. 

The other thing you should be doing, is considering your life, not as a glass half full, or half empty, but just regard it as it is: It's a glass, and there's water in it. It is precious. Take care of that water. All of it is a blessing, none of it is for naught. Go receive the Sacraments. Go to Jesus's school of thought and attend the Holy Hour with him. Do those things which are difficult: daily prayer. Reliance on God to have a plan for your salvation devised, and be as gentle as a dove, but as clever as a serpent. That last bit entails understanding your situation and acting in the moment. What is the right thing for the better of your person? What is the right thing for your family? What about your significant other? There are definitely ways to plan things better. No argument: sometimes stuff gets sidetracked, but work it through. Set the good things as goals, set to loose the bad things. one thing at a time.

Suck it up buttercup. If there's abuse, nix it. If it's self abuse, be a rock in that person's life. Clearly you're not ready to meet our Maker and tell him all about how it's not your fault you gave a sick person a what for, or stood by and let them kill themselves. You know?